


A Moment to Deliberate

by jane_x80



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Drag Queens, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e01 Bury Your Dead, M/M, Singing, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-28 11:00:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13270056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80
Summary: After the La Grenouille op, Tony needs a moment to deliberate what has happened, and he chooses to do it quietly in Gibbs' basement, which leads to interesting coping methods. Until an undercover op derails his recovery.





	1. Strangely Exciting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QueeneoftheDeer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueeneoftheDeer/gifts).



> This story is for my liege, [QueeneoftheDeer](http://archiveofourown.org/users/QueeneoftheDeer/pseuds/QueeneoftheDeer) whose birthday was on 30 December. Happy belated birthday! Apologies for the delay but you know I think it's some weird pathological issue with me about being unable to have the stories be on time for birthdays... *hugs*  
> love, your lady j
> 
> The original prompt my Queene gave me was:  
>  _Tibbs for sure. Tony in black leather on an undercover op. Jealous Gibbs. The song "[Kiss You All Over](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovqpvtJ_MfA)" by Exile. Now I shall wait patiently until the snow falls._
> 
> The snow has definitely fallen. I hope this story pleases my Queene :D
> 
> Special thanks to ma tres chere amie [Red_Pink_Dots](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots) for talking me through how to Tibbs-ize the story when the portion that I started with wanted to turn left into who knows where and the prompt was definitely Tibbs ;) The story kind of grew a bunch since you read it though, so I hope you like what it turned out to be.
> 
> The title of the story as well as Chapter titles come from the lyrics of Alanis Morissette's [Uninvited](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU0of1O504U). I really have been in a 90s frame of mind lately, which is odd given that we've just had a new year and almost to the end of the second decade of the new millennium.
> 
> And for those of you experiencing the bombcyclone on the east coast, please do take care! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EDIT:25 FEB 2018  
> The fabulous Red_Pink_Dots made artwork for this! Check out [her art post](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13625322)!! Merci beaucoup, ma Elton!! <3 <3
> 
> I've also added the artwork to the beginning of this story. :D

[](https://i.imgur.com/a5tbMZq.png)

In the aftermath of Tony’s spectacular and explosive break up with Jeanne Benoit, when that op went up in flames along with Tony’s car and one of La Grenouille’s henchmen, Gibbs knew that Tony had been left emotionally raw and vulnerable. And instead of seeking solace in the many faceless one night stands, which Gibbs had always known consisted of both men and women for his Senior Field Agent, Tony had chosen to retreat and regroup in the quiet of Gibbs’ basement. He turned up most nights with a six pack or bottle of bourbon or something stronger, and just sat quietly on the third stair, silently drinking while his thoughts were far away, thinking, deliberating, brooding about things. He wasn’t his usual talkative self, didn’t talk about the cases, didn’t chatter on about movies, which Gibbs’ swiss cheese brain remembered that the younger man used to do on that step, before Gibbs had been blown up and lost his memory and ran off to Mexico. This Tony, this silently drinking Tony was something new.

Gibbs found himself throwing worried glances at him. Tony sat on the step and stared into space as he sipped whatever drink it was he’d brought with him, far away in his head even though he was physically present. He didn’t take up much room on the step, squishing himself up against the wall, and he always took his empties with him, leaving no trace of his presence in Gibbs’ basement. After he left for the night, it almost seemed as if he hadn’t even been there at all. As if Gibbs had just imagined him being there. He hadn’t yet bought a new car, so a car service dropped him off and picked him up and so he was free to drink as much as he liked without worrying about driving, or imposing on Gibbs’ hospitality. The one time Gibbs offered him his guest room, Tony had rolled his eyes and wordlessly left Gibbs’ house, entering the towncar that was waiting for him outside.

Gibbs really didn’t know what to do with this Tony. This silent and brooding Tony, this Tony who wasn’t quite all the way present, even though he was physically sitting in Gibbs’ basement. This Tony who seemed to be contemplating and deliberating, as if he needed a time out to figure things out. Gibbs needed help to understand this Tony, needed help to know what to do to help him, especially since he didn’t want to wait for Tony to come to the conclusion that he’d had enough of NCIS and the MCRT, had had enough of Gibbs, when he was done with his deliberations.

But Tony was usually the one who helped him understand his own emotions, never mind other people’s. Tony’s chatter might seem random, but Gibbs knew that he was giving him cues as to what Gibbs might be trying to express, and many times, clued him in to the emotional state of the people around him. So this silent Tony that required Gibbs to guess as to his emotional state? It stumped the older man. Gibbs could read Tony, sure, and he knew that Tony was hurting, that Tony had actually loved Jeanne, and that choosing NCIS over the fake relationship that he’d had with her, even though it had been an op, had cut him to the quick. Tony would never forgive Jenny for her part in everything, for not believing him when he tried to insist that Jeanne had no idea what her father even did for a living. And for his car blowing up, along with his personal life. Tony was a ball of anger and hurt now, and Gibbs didn’t quite know how to help him.

After all, he himself was emotionally stunted. All three of his ex-wives had called him that, and he didn’t dispute it. After Shannon died, he’d closed himself off from all emotions. So he didn’t know how to help Tony get over his rage and his pain, since he himself had his own anger and hurt that he carried protectively with him. He himself had also practiced Tony’s usual anodyne of random sex, but instead of having casual sex and one night stands, he’d actually gone the distance and actually married them. Luckily he’d managed to not end up marrying Hollis Mann, even though he’d thought that he cared about her. Caring about someone, he’d come to learn, didn’t equal love, and didn’t equal a lifetime commitment. And retiring to Hawaii wasn’t really his idea of a good time, especially if he had to spend the retirement with Hollis. He’d cared about her, sure, but she had been pretty high maintenance. Although she would perhaps have said that it was the other way round, that she’d been the one to work hard to keep the relationship going. But either way, he’d at least managed not to end up with a fourth divorce out of that relationship. The point being, that other than ‘don’t sleep with women and then marry them’ – a lesson he figured Tony had probably learned early on from his father’s supposed many marriages – he really didn’t know what to tell Tony to help him feel better.

One night, Tony showed up a little later than his usual. He was dressed up nicely, as if he was going out clubbing or trawling for sex, the pants tight in all the right places, emphasizing his pert ass and somehow drawing attention to his groin. Even though Gibbs had trouble not looking at Tony’s crotch on a good day, these pants screamed ‘look at my sexy ass and my sexy dick’ and who was Gibbs to disobey the call of the pants? But Tony didn’t look particularly happy that night, and he carried with him a full, unopened bottle of top-shelf scotch, so maybe he hadn’t actually had any sex yet. Gibbs wondered if he’d gone out looking for a one night stand and had somehow struck out. Tony had been out of sorts and not his usual charming self, lately, and maybe this silent version of him wasn’t as big a hit with the ladies and gentlemen of DC.

Gibbs sighed. Scotch meant that Tony was especially down and meaning to drink himself into oblivion. Tony sat himself down on the step, eyes glazing over as he unsealed the bottle and took a swig of the drink straight out of the bottle.

“It’s a work day tomorrow,” Gibbs said, frowning at his Senior Field Agent.

Tony shrugged. “Got plenty of sick days I haven’t used.” He took another swig of the scotch, closing his eyes and sighing in appreciation.

“You don’t usually just drink to get drunk.”

“People change,” Tony pursed his lips. “Go work on your boat. I’m not here for conversation.”

Gibbs sighed, putting the sander down and taking his safety goggles off. “DiNozzo…”

Tony rolled his eyes. “You gonna give me the ‘don’t drink too much’ lecture, Boss? Really? You?” he shook his head in disgust, standing up and clapping the dust off his ass with one hand, gripping the scotch securely in his other hand.

Gibbs strode over and grabbed his arm as he turned and started up the stairs. “I’m not as much giving you the ‘don’t drink too much lecture’ as I’m giving you the ‘don’t turn into me’ lecture.”

Tony snorted at that one, pausing for a moment to pull his phone out and tap out a message.

“C’mon DiNozzo.”

“What?” Tony glared at him. “What do you want?”

“You’re the one who comes over here! What do _you_ want?”

Tony sneered at him. “Obviously, nothing I can get here,” he wrenched his arm away and got three more steps up. “I’ll see you at work, _Boss_.”

“Wait,” Gibbs grabbed his arm again, chasing after him.

“ _What?_ ” Tony whined.

And Gibbs didn’t quite know what possessed him to do it. He’d resisted Tony for all these years. But that night, Tony’s full lips were enticing, wet and shiny and so goddamned lush, and his shirt was unbuttoned enough that he could see the little tufts of hair on Tony’s chest, and those huge green eyes of Tony’s had always been electric. And before he quite knew what had happened, he’d pushed DiNozzo up against the wall and kissed him. Right there on the stairs. He’d just kissed the man, right on the lips, and what soft, soft lips DiNozzo had. Gibbs cupped his face as he licked into Tony’s mouth, kissing him with a fire and a fierceness that he didn’t even know was still inside him. And after a surprised squawk, Tony began kissing him back with a passion that surprised them both.

When they finally pulled apart, Tony was hard and digging into his thigh, and he knew that Tony could feel his own erection. Tony was panting, looking at him in confusion. He started to open his mouth to speak.

“Shut up,” Gibbs told him, preemptively stopping him from saying anything, from breaking the spell, claiming his mouth again, and this time he insinuated his body in between Tony’s legs, and Tony moaned as their hard cocks rubbed against each other through their pants. Gibbs fisted his hand in Tony’s hair and explored the man’s hot mouth, sucking on his tongue and relishing the desperate moan that that evinced. He couldn’t help but grind himself into Tony’s cock, and he gasped at the stimulation.

Tony blindly put the scotch bottle down on the stair next to him, beginning to arch into him. Tony unbuckled his own belt and undid his pants, pushing it down, fisting his dick as Gibbs continued to kiss him. Gibbs looked down and undid his own jeans, pushing it halfway down his hips. Before he could do anything, Tony arched into him and their dicks touched, velvety flesh sliding deliciously against velvety flesh. Tony tore his mouth away from Gibbs’, spat into his hand and wrapped his fingers around both their dicks, thrusting up into his fist, and Gibbs couldn’t help it. He moaned when Tony’s dick head slid against his. He began thrusting back, cocks sliding against each other within the circle of Tony’s fingers, and he grunted with every thrust, feeling himself start to lose control. Tony was right there with him, and their mouths were sealed together when Gibbs came, hot and messy, all over Tony’s hand, and both their bellies. Tony continued to grunt as his hand went on pumping them both, and Gibbs continued to come, little spurts as his orgasm wound down. Reflexively, he bit down on Tony’s neck when the younger man added a twist to his hand movements, and Tony cried out as he found his release, grunting as he milked himself.

Gibbs had his arms around Tony, face tucked into Tony’s neck as they came down from their highs. Tony was leaning bonelessly against the wall, head thrown back, panting hard. Finally, Gibbs pulled away with a soft kiss to Tony’s lips.

“Not sure I like the mix of scotch and bourbon in my mouth,” he told Tony, making a face.

The younger man laughed out loud at that and the sound lightened Gibbs’ heart. He hadn’t heard Tony laugh for real in a long time, and it was good to hear it. Gibbs pulled his sweatshirt off and yanked his t-shirt off, mopping Tony clean first before he did himself. Tony’s phone beeped and he pulled his pants back up and found his phone.

“Car’s here to pick me up,” he said softly.

“You OK?” Gibbs finally asked.

Tony shrugged and gave him a small smile. Gibbs pulled him in and kissed him hard as Tony fastened his pants. And then he disappeared without another word. But the next day, he was clear eyed and definitely not hung over when he appeared at work. There was a large hickey halfway up his neck, and Gibbs blushed as he realized that was where he’d bitten the man in the throes of his orgasm. Tony just rolled his eyes at Gibbs and deflected the attentions of Ziva and McGee the way he usually did, making up outlandish tales of a blue eyed hottie that just _loved_ to mark him up when they had sex. Gibbs couldn’t help but snicker to himself and deliver a well-earned headslap when Tony started describing her skill at bringing him to orgasm, although it did bring to Gibbs’ mind Tony’s face as he was coming, and the sounds that he’d made. And Gibbs’ dick started to swell, right there in the bullpen, thinking about Tony’s hands and what they’d done in the basement the previous night, and just for that, Gibbs smacked Tony’s head once more, a propos of nothing, and Tony gave him a hurt look.

But that night, when Tony turned up, bringing a six pack of Gibbs’ favorite beer, Gibbs didn’t even give him the opportunity to open any of them before he was on the man, kissing him to within an inch of his life again.

“Want to fuck me, Boss?” Tony panted, pulling away from Gibbs, fingers fisting in Gibbs’ silver hair to force him to stop kissing him.

Gibbs pulled back, startled. Did he want to fuck Tony? His dick definitely said yes. But he’d never actually had sex with a man before, and he knew that there was prep involved.

“Uhh…” he stared into Tony’s green eyes, pupils dilated with arousal.

“No problem. We can do what we did last night if that’s all you’re into,” Tony shrugged.

“No, no. I do want to fuck you. Uhh… I just… I don’t know how to prep you,” Gibbs said, biting his lip.

Tony grinned, that cat that got the cream grin that made Gibbs’ heart skip a beat. “I already did that before I came over. You know. Just in case.”

“Always be prepared?” Gibbs shook his head. “Didn’t know you were a boy scout.”

“I was for two whole days,” he smirked. He pulled a condom out of his back pocket, and a small tube of lube from another pocket and handed them to Gibbs before he turned and leaned against Gibbs’ boat, unbuckling his pants. “Make sure you use all that lube and we’re golden.”

Gibbs wasted no time rolling the condom on his hard dick as Tony kicked his pants aside and spread his legs, turning and giving Gibbs the most seductive look he’d ever received. Gibbs hurriedly squeezed all the lube out of the small tube and spread it over his cock.

He stepped up in between Tony’s legs, and gave Tony a questioning look.

“Just fuck me already,” Tony rolled his eyes, wiggling his ass.

“Don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Tony assured him, and he broke off to moan when Gibbs slipped a lubed finger into his hole. Gibbs found that Tony was in fact loose and lubricated, he slid a thumb in and Tony moaned, leaning against the rib of the boats, pushing back into Gibbs’ finger, his body clenching tightly to Gibbs’ finger.

“Good?” Gibbs asked.

Tony nodded.

Gibbs messed around a little, sticking fingers into Tony’s asshole, fascinated by the moans he was pulling out of the man, and when he accidentally stroked a little nub inside Tony’s passage, the younger man jumped and cursed, one hand going down to grab the base of his leaking dick as Gibbs continued to stroke his prostate.

“Guess you liked that,” Gibbs murmured in Tony’s ear.

“If you’re gonna fuck me, you better do it soon or I’m going to – _unnnnnnnnnhhhhhh_ – come without you,” Tony panted, fucking himself into Gibbs’ fingers, and choking the base of his own dick to stop himself from coming. “Fuck,” he grunted repeatedly.

Gibbs pulled his fingers out and Tony whimpered, but before he could demand Gibbs fuck him, the older man positioned his cock against Tony’s hole and pushed in. He slipped about halfway in before Tony’s body tightened against him. He blew out a loud breath, biting down on Tony’s neck again as his dick was squeezed inside Tony’s body. He pulled out a little and pushed in and slowly fucked himself into his Senior Field Agent until his balls were snug against Tony’s ass. He moaned when Tony clenched, his body hot, and wet, and tight, so fucking tight, enveloping Gibbs’ dick.

“Fuck,” Gibbs muttered. “Feel so good.”

Tony began fucking himself into Gibbs’ dick. “Fuck me,” he demanded roughly. “C’mon. Move!”

Gibbs pulled out and began fucking into him, long, hard thrusts that seemed to rock Tony up onto his tiptoes even as he tried to push himself down onto Gibbs’ dick. They found a rhythm and Gibbs was thrusting, strong and hard and fast. Tony was scrabbling on the boat ribs, pushing back into Gibbs, until he found an angle that made him start keening every time Gibbs thrust in. He began stroking himself in time to Gibbs’ thrusts. Gibbs wasn’t so far gone as to notice what Tony was doing so he pushed Tony’s hand aside and with his still lube-slippery hand began jacking him off. The sound Tony made then almost made Gibbs come.

It was all too much. Gibbs was barreling too quickly towards completion and he sped up, thrusting faster into Tony’s body, short, deep thrusts, angling it so he kept nailing Tony’s prostate, and he jacked Tony off as if he was jacking himself off. It was almost disconcertingly good, and the sounds that Tony made each time he moved was enough to make anybody come.

“Fuck,” Gibbs pushed his face into Tony’s hot, sweaty neck, swearing up a blue storm as his body geared for orgasm. “Fuck. Now. Gonna come,” he gritted out, before he bit Tony’s neck again, his hips pistoning in and out, quick, hard, thrusts, deep in Tony’s body. He moaned, deep in his chest as it all came to a head and he couldn’t stop himself. He felt himself spurting out, his dick spitting come into the condom, and he bit down hard on Tony’s neck, and Tony actually screamed as his dick erupted in Gibbs’ hand, spraying come over Gibbs’ boat and on the basement floor.

Minutes later, Gibbs found himself licking and sucking gently on Tony’s neck, soothing the massive bite mark on the back of it that he’d placed there, and Tony’s breathing and heart rate were slowing down. Gibbs found that he still had his hand on Tony’s soft dick. He pulled it away and stared at it, still wet with Tony’s jizz.

Tony’s eyes widened as he followed the movement of Gibbs’ come-covered hand, as Gibbs put two fingers into his mouth and sucked on it, tasting Tony’s bitter-salty-slightly sweet come. Tony moaned at the sight.

“You can’t do shit like that,” he pulled Gibbs’ head in for a kiss, and whimpered when Gibbs’ softened dick slid out of his ass.

Tony sat on the step after they righted themselves, and Gibbs mopped the floor and his boat with a rag, waving away Tony’s stammered apologies about getting come on the boat and on the floor. Tony sat on the step and drank a beer and even though he was silent, his eyes were bright and he was present instead of gazing off into the distance, no longer absorbed by whatever dark thoughts had occupied him, and he watched as Gibbs quietly worked on his boat. After one beer, Tony stood, nodded goodbye to Gibbs and left.


	2. Hot-Blooded Woman

And that started a strange pattern of behavior where Tony would drop by after work and he and Gibbs would fuck in the basement. He taught Gibbs how to prepare him and pleasure him with his fingers, and sometimes he would kneel on the concrete floor and use his mouth to suck Gibbs off as he fisted his own cock. And afterwards, Tony would sit on the step, green eyes bright, watching him intently as he sipped whatever drink he’d brought that evening, and then leaving with a quiet nod once he finished his drink. He still took his empties away and sometimes Gibbs did think it had to all be a dream.

Gibbs still didn’t know what to make of it. But at least Tony wasn’t sitting on the steps, miles away, wallowing in whatever hell he’d created for himself in his head, drinking to forget his troubles. Seeking oblivion at the bottom of a bottle. He didn’t know what the hell they were doing, but it felt good. It felt really good. Besides, at least he knew that he wasn’t headed towards yet another alimony to pay out with whatever this was with Tony, given that it wasn’t even legal for him to marry a man in DC yet. He backed away from that thought, though. Marry DiNozzo? Why would DiNozzo even want to marry a washed up marine like him? Tony was just using him as a convenient fuck buddy. There was nothing else between them except for what they had already had before they started fucking.

But he kept marking Tony up in very visible places, renewing the hickeys on Tony’s neck. It was a compulsion that he didn’t even bother to resist. His cock twitched in satisfaction every time Ziva or McGee said anything about Tony’s neck or his sex life. Yeah. Tony was coming to him now, for their mutual pleasure and Gibbs wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t even know how he’d managed to wait this long to get his hands on Tony, given that he’d been half in love with the man for years now.

But they never talked about what they were doing. They never talked about _anything_ when Tony came over at nights, which was really odd given Tony’s penchant for talking about _everything_. And for once, Gibbs wanted to talk about this, wanted to know what they were doing, and where they were headed. If they were even heading anywhere. And didn’t Gibbs feel like the goddamn girl in the relationship, wanting to pester Tony, wanting to know what it all meant? But Gibbs was Gibbs and he didn’t know how to say anything to Tony who was supposed to be the talkative one. So no words were exchanged.

But Tony just showed up, they would fuck, and then Tony would have a quiet drink before he left. Gibbs didn’t know how to bring any of it up. He was a barely functional mute. Tony hadn’t been wrong in calling him that. And he wanted to be grateful that Tony was so low maintenance, that Tony never asked him for anything, never wanted him to make home improvements for him, or ask him to retire with him to Hawaii, or want his full attention all the live long day, or ask him to stop working such long hours, or want him to stop comparing him to Shannon, who he’d lost so tragically all those years ago. These were all things that Hollis and all of the ex-wives had done to him. Asked of him. And when he wasn’t prepared to give them what they wanted, the relationships had broken down and they had all left, leaving Gibbs to be more than a little bit relieved, if truth be told. But with Tony, he actually _wanted_ to know what this all meant. Did Tony want more with him? Because he actually was prepared to give him more than just fucking in the basement, and secretly maybe he even wanted to escalate this relationship with Tony. Wanted to be with Tony, in any and every way. Wanted to be the only one that Tony fucked. The only one that ever saw Tony’s face as he orgasmed, not that he got to see Tony’s face much when they fucked because there seemed to be more front-to-back action than face to face. But he wanted it. Wanted to ask Tony to snuggle with him in bed. All night. To fall asleep with him in his arms, and to wake up the same way, bodies entangled as if Tony belonged nowhere else. He wanted Tony to ask him to make home improvements, wanted Tony to stake a claim on him, his time, his skills, like the women in his past had tried in vain to do.

Hell, he’d maybe even settle for being able to get Tony up to the bedroom so they could fuck on a bed for once, instead of on the hard concrete of the basement. Although there was no end to Tony’s creativity when it came to sex – they’d had sex on sawhorses, the work table, up against the boat, the walls, the floor, under the boat, on the stairs. Everywhere possible in the basement, they’d definitely done it. He’d never be able to look at some of those things in the basement without blushing now. But he hadn’t been able to fuck Tony on a bed, face to face, where he could kiss Tony as he impaled himself into the man. To keep kissing him as they made love. To see his face clearly when he came. He hadn’t been able to do that. Yet. And he wanted it. Badly.

They would, if Gibbs ever managed to speak to Tony about it, or vice versa. But Gibbs was a functional mute and he didn’t know how to bring this up. Wasn’t really given the opportunity to talk about it. Tony would show up, and they would be on each other, passionate and fierce, as if they hadn’t just fucked each other the day before, racing towards the oblivion of orgasm as if there was no tomorrow. And afterwards, Tony sat and drank his one drink (Gibbs could even imagine Tony saying that he was ‘hydrating’ himself after their exertions, except that Tony still wasn’t saying anything other than the moans and curses and sounds that he made while they fucked) and then he left before Gibbs could screw up the courage to start talking. And really, that was the problem. Gibbs wanted to talk about things, but he was also afraid of what talking about things might do to their relationship. If you could call it a relationship.

He didn’t know how Tony would feel about him wanting to take Tony up to the bedroom. To gently peel the clothes off the man, and kiss every inch of his flesh. He didn’t know if Tony would run if he held him tenderly as he kissed and licked and sucked him all over. If he took his time, preparing Tony, maybe even kissing and licking that pretty little hole of his – Gibbs had been reading up on anal sex since he and Tony started fucking and the idea of rimming Tony kept reverberating through his head – and then fucking him only when Tony was desperate to come. Maybe even convincing Tony to let him fuck him bareback. Gibbs wanted to feel Tony’s skin on his everywhere, wanted to fill him with come. Maybe even wanted Tony to do the same to him.

But Tony was still prickly and quiet and secretive and never once asked him for anything other than sex in the basement. Gibbs had finally managed to get that lost look out of Tony’s eyes so he didn’t want to change that. Still, every head slap he gave him whenever Tony bragged about the new conquest that had marked him up the previous night felt like foreplay and an unspoken ‘I love you’. And that scared Gibbs. He’d said the words to all of his ex-wives, of course, parroted it back to them because that was what they’d expected. But he’d only ever meant it with Shannon. And here he was, wanting to blurt out words like that to Tony of all people. He didn’t know what the hell was happening, but he knew he didn’t want it to stop. So he kept his mouth shut and tried to tell Tony without words what he felt for the man, kissing him tenderly, lovingly, after they’d both come. Cupping his face and nuzzling his neck and cheek, mouthing the words of love silently into Tony’s skin, as if he could absorb them and understand him via osmosis.

But Tony always left after one drink, giving Gibbs a wink and a saucy grin before he left. A promise of more the next free night they had. And for now Gibbs was resigned to wait him out. Wait until Tony was ready for the words. Wait until Tony wouldn’t run if he said the words that he mouthed into Tony’s skin every night. Wait until Tony was ready for him to take his hand and lead him upstairs, and into the never-used bedroom. Ready for Tony to allow him to love him.

But then the op happened and derailed all of Gibbs’ efforts and plans.

The joint op team was assembled in the Hoover building. The MCRT, Ducky, Palmer and Abby were on one side of the conference room table, and Fornell and his team of FBI agents on the other side. NCIS was being read in on a case that technically fell under the FBI’s jurisdiction, but because the victims of the serial killer were last seen at a club in Norfolk, and one of the vics had been a Chief Warrant Officer, it was time to include NCIS. Fornell had just finished the briefing, going over the details of the vics and the case and the fact that even though they had clients planted in the club, it wasn’t enough.

“Why isn’t it enough?” McGee asked. A reasonable enough question.

Fornell sighed. “Norfolk is very much a city built around a naval base.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes. Duh.

“And they don’t take kindly to strangers who aren’t attached to the base,” Fornell shrugged. “Plus it’s a specialized club and they have a specific clientele so my guys stick out like a sore thumb.”

“And you think we will fit in?” Ziva raised her eyebrows. “We have been to Norfolk many times on many cases. Someone would probably recognize us if we tried to fit in in a public place for many days.”

“And that is a fair point,” Fornell agreed. “But maybe one of you can be planted in as one of the performers. You would definitely not be recognized as one of the singers on stage, at least not at this club.”

“I can sing,” Ziva volunteered.

Fornell shook his head. “Sorry, David. You just won’t do. You don’t fit the profile.”

“What kind of bar is this again?” Gibbs frowned.

Abby clapped her hands. “I know this place!” she exclaimed. “I _knew_ the name was familiar! They do awesome drag shows there! I went there for a bachelor party last year and it was fabulous!”

Fornell sighed. “Miss Sciuto has nailed it. It is a club where the performers are all dressed in drag. And they can all sing. Really well.”

“So you think one of us can get a job performing in the show?” Gibbs glared at Fornell.

“Your guys would fit in with the locals and know the landscape well, understand the constraints of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and what it would mean for a drag queen club in a town built around a Naval base. And maybe we can read in another team, one that hasn’t worked as extensively in Norfolk as yours, to back up whoever ends up being the, ahem, drag queen performer,” Fornell cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“It does seem as if a constant presence backstage might be beneficial,” Ducky agreed. “How the victims are chosen implies that it is someone who is there often and has an intimate knowledge of the inner workings of the club, including the security camera placements and blind spots. It suggests the perpetrator is an employee or a performer rather than a client.”

Gibbs sighed. “Ziva, you’re out then.”

Ziva made a face.

“Me too. I’m tone deaf,” McGee said apologetically. “Can’t sing worth a lick.”

“And they won’t accept lip synching?” Gibbs asked.

Fornell shook his head. “Nope. They pride themselves on having the best natural performers.” He glared at the room when he heard snickers and snide comments about ‘natural’ performers, given the fact that the performers were all in drag.

“I can carry a tune but nobody’s going to pay me to sing,” Gibbs sighed and looked at Tony who was uncharacteristically silent. Tony was usually raring to go for any and all undercover ops. Tony was amazing undercover, and he knew it. But this time he was just sitting quietly and listening to the conversation. “DiNozzo can’t sing either,” he told Fornell. “I’ve heard him and it ain’t pretty.”

“Sure he can!” Abby piped up.

“ _Abs!_ ” Tony hissed at her, glaring angrily.

“Oh! _No!_ Sorry! No he can’t!” Abby clapped her hands over her mouth, blushing and looking incredibly guilty.

“DiNozzo?” Gibbs snarled at his Senior Field Agent.

“Yeah, Boss?” Tony answered, his tone obnoxiously chirpy.

“Can you sing?”

“Can I sing?”

“Yeah. Can you sing?”

“That’s an interesting question, Boss. Well, I mean, _everyone_ can sing. Even McGee. It’s just a matter of whether you sound good when you sing or not,” Tony hedged.

“DiNozzo…” Gibbs said, the threat in his voice.

Tony sighed, tendering Abby another frown.

“Can you sing?” Gibbs asked again.

Tony nodded.

“Can you sing well?”

Tony shrugged.

“Abs?” Gibbs turned to Abby. “Can DiNozzo sing well?”

Abby gave Tony a stricken look. She turned her head, staring at both men, not wanting to betray either of them. “I… don’t know?” she finally said, looking extremely guilty.

“That’s a yes,” Gibbs turned to Fornell. “Let’s see if DiNozzo can get a job performing at this club.”

Tony scrubbed his face, stood up and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

“What’s his problem?” Gibbs asked Abby under his breath.

Abby sighed. “He only ever sang for his mother,” she whispered to him. “He sang for her on her deathbed in the hospital. When she was dying. It’s why he never ever really sings for people anymore.”

“ _You_ knew he sang,” Gibbs frowned, an unexpected stab of jealousy going through him at the thought that maybe Abby knew Tony better than he did, even though he was the one fucking the man every chance he could.

Abby shrugged. “I have a way of finding out things.”

Gibbs blew out a breath. Abby did have a way of making people tell her things that they wouldn’t ever tell anyone else. “But he _can_ sing? You’ve heard him?”

Abby nodded.

“Go work with him. Fornell will get you the funds to equip him for this role. We don’t have a choice,” Gibbs chewed his lip thoughtfully. “I’ll talk to Shepard about getting a backup team in, faces that people at Norfolk won’t be familiar with. But we’ll also be backing Tony up. McGee, find out what you can about this club and figure out what we can do to be present.”

“Yes, Boss.”

“Ziva, work with someone on Fornell’s team to re-interview the witnesses.”

“Very well,” Ziva nodded.

\-------------------------------------------

The next day, Tony showed up at the FBI ops center in Norfolk, carrying a garment bag and an overstuffed carrier bag slung over his shoulder, with an electric guitar slung over the other shoulder. He looked freshly scrubbed and was casually dressed in tight jeans, and a tight black t-shirt, with a stylish black leather jacket thrown over it. A pair of dark sunglasses completely covered his eyes, obscuring them. Abby followed behind him, looking dejected. Conveniently for them, the club was holding open auditions for new performers that day.

“Can you even play that guitar?” Ziva snickered.

Tony glared wordlessly at her, and Abby looked even more upset.

Gibbs handed Tony his earpiece and they affixed the receiver, shaped like a little charm on one of the many leather and bead bracelets that Tony now wore on his wrist.

“You up to this, DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked him quietly.

Tony gave him a silent glare before he looked away dismissively.

“If this is going to be a real problem…”

Tony snorted and walked away, ignoring Abby as she tried to speak to him again. Tony shoved his bag and guitar into the back seat and carefully hanged up the garment bag on the hook before he folded himself into the nondescript Toyota they had gotten him, and drove away, gunning the engine angrily, without speaking a word to anyone.

“He’s really upset about this?” Gibbs heard McGee whisper to Abby, and she nodded sadly.

“He’s never going to forgive me for this,” she whispered back.

“It’s Tony. He’ll forgive you if you cry. He always does,” McGee tried to reassure her.

“Not this time, Timmy. I fucked up big time.”

Gibbs sighed. Apparently this was a bigger deal than any of them had thought it would be. Gibbs would have to try and talk to him at some point and make sure he wasn’t going off the rails because of this op.

But it was time to give their attention to the op. McGee had hacked into the security feed in the club and they watched as Tony signed up for the audition and was sent backstage to get dressed. They watched as others came up to audition, waiting for Tony to be called. There were some very decent performers, including a passable Dolly Parton lookalike belting _Jolene_ along with the club’s in-house live band. Fornell had sent one of his men in to audition as well, and they watched as he sang his song and the managers applauded politely after his performance and informed him they would call with their decision.

Finally, after a few more performers, they announced the next one up, ‘Alanis Morissette’ and she strutted on stage, much taller than the diminutive rocker chick, but certainly no less impressive. She had on a black leather bustier that looked painted on it was so tight, with the same stylish black leather jacket that Gibbs had noticed Tony wearing earlier, a black leather mini skirt, and thigh high stiletto heeled black leather boots emphasizing her long, long legs. Her curly dark locks cascaded down her back silkily as she strutted onto the stage, the electric guitar slung across her back, and she spoke softly to the band. She brushed her hair out of her face and tucked a lock behind her ears as she bent to connect her guitar to the amp, her movements unbelievably graceful, then she walked up to the mike and glared at the managers in the audience.

Everyone in the ops room gasped. It was Tony DiNozzo, under all that getup. Unlike the other performers, he didn’t slap on a boatload of makeup, going with Alanis’s more natural look. Whatever he did though, made his eyes look huge and unbelievably green in his face, his eyelashes were extra long, and his lips even poutier than usual. He made a surprisingly beautiful woman, biting his lips, dimples winking at the audience as he glared at them. With a toss of his hair and a look at the band, they started.

The managers as well as the ops team barely made a sound as Tony belted out Alanis Morissette’s _You Oughta Know_ , in a sultry tenor, imbued with the appropriate amount of anger and resentment that the song called for. He captured Alanis’s unique vocal quirks, manipulating his voice in that semi-ululating way at the end of certain words and phrases. He jammed along with the band, expertly strumming his guitar as he strutted around the stage, rocking to the music.

_And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it_   
_Well, can you feel it?_

Gibbs suppressed a shudder at the thought of Tony scratching his nails down someone else’s back because he definitely felt it, anger and jealousy at the idea that anyone else would feel Tony scratch his nails down their backs. He wanted to be the one feel it. Wanted to feel Tony scratching his nails down his back because that would mean that they would be fucking face to face on a bed or something. But instead, he felt the sting of Tony’s rage as he sang about heartbreak and his cross to bear. When the song ended, the managers as well as those in the ops room were applauding and wolf whistling.

Alanis gave the audience a small smile, unplugged her guitar and made to get off the stage.

“Alanis, can you do another song?” one of the managers asked. “Something slow?”

“I’m strictly circa ‘Jagged Little Pill’,” Tony insisted, now sounding like Tony again.

“ _Uninvited_. Surely you can do _Uninvited?_ ” the manager asked again.

Tony sighed and nodded. He turned to the band and they nodded at him. He carefully unslung his guitar and put it in one of the empty stands, shimmied out of the jacket, exposing miles of smooth tanned skin – his arms, most of the top half of his chest, the long, graceful column of his neck, throwing the jacket carelessly by his guitar, and swayed over to the mike stand again. Gibbs couldn’t help but notice that Tony had completely removed all the hair on his arms, his pits, and his chest. Smooth and hairless, and unlike many of the other performers, he didn’t go the way of the obviously fake prosthetic tits, but had somehow manipulated it so he looked like he had little breasts under the bustier, with an indecent amount of cleavage exposed. Gibbs both wanted to know and didn’t want to know how he’d managed to accomplish that.

Alanis nodded at the band and they began the opening chords, with the distinctive and haunting piano line. She swayed gently to the chords, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear before she began singing. Again there was absolute silence as she sang. Unlike the previous song where she had been vibrating with anger and rocking out her bitterness and resentment, her movements were now small and subtle, tapping a heel along with the beat, drawing eyes to her long, leather clad legs. She nodded gently with the drums, hair falling in silky waves into her face, eyes flicking to the managers, somehow mournful and sultry at the same time. She swayed and sang, at times breathy, at times wailing the words. The managers were on their feet applauding before the final chords of the music ended, and so were many of the people in the ops room who had caught his performance.

Alanis bowed, hair falling into her face, and she smiled faintly at the managers before she collected her jacket and her guitar.

“We will definitely call you,” the manager promised.

Alanis gave him a perfunctory smile before she left, hair flouncing about her as she strutted off the stage, her ass swaying sexily in the tiny skirt she wore.

Tony had barely made it back to the ops room, back in jeans and t-shirt, face scrubbed clean of all make up even though his hair was still flattened from the wig when his new cell phone rang. The one whose number he’d given the club as the number to contact him with. He looked around and the room quieted down. McGee fiddled around, pressed a button and gave him the thumbs up to answer his phone.

“Yeah,” he answered, putting it on speaker.

“I’m calling for Alanis?”

“Speaking.”

“You got the job. Can you start tonight?”

“Sure.”

“Your first set is at 8 PM. Make sure you’re here well before so the clients never see anyone but Alanis.”

“Of course.”

“Thank you, we look forward to working with you.”

“Thanks.” Tony hung up the phone curtly, threw it on a table and stormed off after glaring at Abby and Gibbs.

“Well, on the plus side, he certainly chose the right performer to be,” McGee offered tentatively. “Alanis Morissette was definitely in a really angry phase in ‘Jagged Little Pill’.”

“Ya think?” Gibbs rolled his eyes.

Gibbs went off in search of the man, but wherever Tony had gone, he wasn’t to be found. He came back an hour later, looking calm and determined. They went over the details of the case, talked about what he should be looking out for and their plan for the op. Tony kept it all serious and case-oriented, still keeping himself aloof from his teammates.

When Ziva tried to tease him about something, the look he gave her shut her up quickly. It wasn’t often that Tony was angry enough to actually show it, but when he was, even Ziva knew to steer clear of him. Gibbs watched him closely for the rest of the day and the one time he asked Tony to come with him, his intention to speak to the man alone clear, Tony gave him the same cutting look he’d given Ziva.

“I’m busy,” he said curtly, before he turned back to the folder he was reading through.

Gibbs suppressed a sigh. He didn’t want to send Tony out there to sing when singing was obviously something intimate, something he’d done for his mother before she died, something that brought back bad memories and hurt him. But Fornell’s guy didn’t get the job, Tony did. And even if Fornell’s guy had gotten the job, he wouldn’t have fit in there as well as Tony would, after so many years with NCIS. So now they’d engineered it so he would be singing every night to a full house for the duration of the case, as well as doing his job to find a serial killer. And Tony was understandably upset about it. He hoped that at the end of the op, Tony would have forgiven Abby because she was definitely not taking this at all well, and fully blaming herself for giving Tony’s secret away. Even if nobody else would have been able to get this job the way Tony had.

McGee managed to get himself hired as a waiter, and Gibbs would be there wearing glasses and a ballcap, as a patron. Shepard had sent two more agents from another team, both agents having just transferred to DC from elsewhere and without much experience working cases in Norfolk to also be planted in the club as clients. Gibbs parked himself on a bar stool – he was just another closeted ex-marine in the joint, joining the crew not asking or telling – in a corner of the bar where he could see most of the room without too much effort and still have an excellent view of the stage. He found himself impatiently waiting for Tony’s set instead of really focusing on the op the way he usually would. Finally they announced their new performer, and Alanis strutted on stage, wearing the same outfit she’d auditioned in. She opened with a vicious rendition of _You Oughta Know_ , sang more songs from ‘Jagged Little Pill’ and closed with _Uninvited_ and a standing ovation. Her performance had been electric. She tossed her hair and gave a feral grin to the audience before she stalked off the stage, her anger palpable in every step she took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the black leather and the undercover op. And the drag queens! That wasn't part of the prompt but I may have gotten carried away and wanted to do a different sort of undercover from the other stuff I've written ;)
> 
> Chapter title taken from the lyrics of Uninvited (Alanis Morissette).


	3. You're Uninvited

So the op went for another two weeks. Tony sang two, sometimes three sets a night, always wearing skin tight black leather – sometimes little mini skirts, sometimes tight leather pants, sometimes a dress, and Alanis always got a standing ovation, generous tips, and many, many propositions. These last gave Gibbs what he thought was heartburn, and he watched as other men salivated over Tony as he performed and imagined himself on a rooftop with his rifle, sniping each and every one of the lecherous assholes. As if any of them would ever be good enough for his Tony. He’d drooled over the man far longer than any of these shallow men had, without ever seeing him sing like a dream on stage or strut around in leather bustiers and thigh high leather boots. Although the thought of peeling Tony out of all that leather made Gibbs twitch and want to kiss him all over.

Gibbs tried to block those thoughts out, but when Tony danced on the stage, showing off his moves and tossing his long hair for effect, it made it really difficult to do so. It was impossible not to think of anything but Tony’s body, all sinuous and golden under all that black leather. All that smooth and now hairless skin. It was truly distracting.

Tony did his job, though, and exceptionally well per his usual standards, despite his personal issues regarding singing. He made friends with all the other performers, and all the staff. He shared a dressing room with Diana Ross – aka Scott – who was, quite helpfully for the case, a very social and gregariously talkative person, and their dressing room always had other people walking in and out, chatting with them both. Tony was compiling files on everyone when he wasn’t at the club, and sharing his insights for each of them. He flirted with everyone, patrons and staff, other performers, everyone, and it was amazing to see him transform from the friendly, easy going person off stage, to the angry rocker chick when he was on stage. He dropped little bits of his supposed back story, hinting at a bad break up with a boyfriend and the need to channel that anger for his stage persona.

The op ended quietly, after Tony fingered a bartender that struck him as hinky. He didn’t work every day. He came in on the busy weekend nights to help out, and the odd week night here and there, and Tony had a bad feeling about him. He was friendly enough, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Tony couldn’t quantify it but he insisted that they should watch the man closely, which they did. After McGee undercover as the waiter saw that he’d slipped something into a client’s drink, they arrested him as he was loading his next victim into the trunk of his car in a dark, quiet spot in the parking lot where there were no security cameras. Alanis was on stage, performing, at the time of his arrest.

Gibbs was waiting in Tony’s dressing room for him to come back after his set. Diana Ross who Tony shared the dressing room with was up next so Gibbs waited alone, sitting in Tony’s chair in front of the brightly lit vanity table. Alanis swept into the room, guitar slung on her back. Tonight Alanis was wearing a black leather dress that she had absolutely been poured into, bodice laced up with leather ties up the back, the skirt terminating just south of her ass. Gibbs wondered how she hid her dick under that skirt, because Gibbs had intimate knowledge of that organ and it wasn’t exactly a shrinking violet. He shook his head, pulling himself back to the present. Alanis had forgone the thigh high boots, instead wearing shiny black leather pumps, stiletto heels of course, making her long legs look that much longer.

“We got him,” Gibbs told him. “You pegged him. You were right. He was definitely hinky.”

Tony nodded and pulled the earpiece out of his ear and carelessly flicking it onto the dressing table. He unslung the guitar, putting it carefully in the guitar stand nearby and stepped out of the heels with a quiet sigh of relief.

“But we need you not to break cover until we’re sure we can tie him to all the vics, and identified any accomplices that he might have worked with. You’ll have to keep singing until we’re certain, and keep your eyes open.”

Tony sighed and nodded, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“You ever gonna speak to me again?” Gibbs asked him quietly.

Tony shrugged. Gibbs grabbed his wrist as he padded by, ensuring that he covered the transmitter on Tony’s bracelet with his hand.

“I’m sorry, OK,” Gibbs whispered urgently. “I’m sorry you had to do this. But we needed to catch the guy.”

Tony rolled his eyes and turned away, but Gibbs saw the set of his jaw. Tony was gritting his teeth.

“I’m sure your mother would have understood,” Gibbs said quietly.

“ _Don’t_ speak to me about my mother!” Tony snarled, pulling his hand out of Gibbs’ grasp. “Op’s basically done. I’m doing this until we tie up all the loose ends and then I’m _done_. Done with all this. And if _anyone_ ever speaks to me about this again, I’m out of here forever. I’ll be done with _you_.”

Gibbs was about to push the issue when one of the club bouncers came in. He was several inches taller than Gibbs, with twenty pounds on him, and carried himself like the former marine that his dossier said he was.

“This guy bothering you, Laney?” the guy growled, using the name that the club agreed they would use instead of Tony. The club staff would call him Laney, or Alanis, rather than out his real name to a client.

Tony shrugged and Gibbs raised his hand agreeing to leave quietly. He heard the man asking if Gibbs was the ex from the terrible breakup that Tony had hinted at, and he sighed. Tony had done his job and pulled off the op exceedingly well, but he was still as upset as ever about the fact that he’d had to sing in public. And he was not in a forgiving mood right now. Gibbs squared his shoulders and went back to work, trying vainly not to worry about Tony’s state of mind too much. Especially when in his final set that night, instead of closing with _Uninvited_ as he usually did, he sang a mournful version of _Perfect_ , and then he sat on a stool, legs crossed demurely, and sang, unaccompanied, a haunting song about going into a person’s house and wearing their clothes and sleeping in their beds and listening to their music. He sang about heartbreak, and the grief of a relationship that was over, a song that reeked of sorrow and desperation. And he didn’t even wait for the applause before he walked off the stage dejectedly. The ops team talked about the song, a secret track on ‘Jagged Little Pill’ called _Your House_ , and there was rampant speculation as to what caused Tony to sing it that night since he should be happy that they’d caught the perp. Gibbs squelched all the talk, putting the fear of god into these people, talking about Tony as if he wasn’t still listening on the comms, and shifted the focus back to the case.

After they managed to tie the bartender to all the victims and confirm that he had been working alone, Alanis quit her job and was never seen or heard from again at the club.

Tony was back in the bullpen, dressed in a sharp looking suit, working on his reports and still keeping himself distant from the team and from Abby. He ignored all the normal banter and kept his eyes on the work. Abby tried to bring him cups of hot chocolate, and other treats to try and win him back but Tony either dumped the things in the trash or gave them to someone else in the squad room. Even Shepard noticed that Tony wasn’t his usual friendly self, especially with his own team.

“What’s with DiNozzo?” Shepard asked Gibbs when they were alone in MTAC.

Gibbs shrugged.

“I thought the op in Norfolk went well? DiNozzo should be crowing about his success!”

Gibbs sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Of course everyone thought he would be happy.

“Although I didn’t know DiNozzo could sing. Or dance. And in drag,” Shepard grinned at the idea. “I saw a recording of his performance and I must say, color me impressed. He makes a rather compelling woman.”

Gibbs grunted.

“It’s definitely something we should keep in mind for other undercover ops,” Shepard smirked.

“Don’t you think you’ve used him enough?” Gibbs snarled viciously at her.

Shepard gasped, taking a step back. “What?”

“You. With the whole La Grenouille disaster? You don’t think you’ve done enough to mess with his life? You leave DiNozzo alone. Any future ops had better go through me and have us backing him up or you’ll regret it. I won’t stay silent again,” Gibbs told her bluntly before he stomped out of MTAC.

Gibbs kept waiting for Tony to show up in his basement after work, like he’d been doing even before they started their physical relationship, but a week after the op was over, still no DiNozzo. He didn’t know what to think. Tony had been keeping himself quiet and distant from the team, and still wasn’t speaking to Abby. And other than for their cases, he hadn’t spoken to Gibbs, either. He was definitely not his usual self. Gibbs wanted for him to turn up in the basement, and instead of fucking him, he wanted to talk about things this time. Talk about everything. About what they were doing. About what Tony had to do for the op. About his mother. Gibbs would force them to have this conversation because they needed to clear the air. He might be a functional mute, but the key word at this point was functional. Even he knew that they needed to talk. But every night, Gibbs sat and waited and Tony never came.

Finally, Gibbs came to the conclusion that Tony wasn’t coming and might even stay away for months the way he did at times when he was mad at Gibbs, or thought Gibbs had treated him unfairly. And he found the idea of not seeing Tony outside of work for that long unacceptable. And besides, Tony had threatened to be done with him, that night, and that was _definitely_ unacceptable. So without second guessing himself, he grabbed his keys and got in his truck and drove to Tony’s apartment. He knocked on the door and waited until he saw the slight shadow over the peep hole. There was definitely a long hesitation before he heard locks being thrown and the door opened a crack, the security chain still fastened.

“Yeah?” Tony peeped out at him. “We catch a case? I’ll get dressed.”

“No case.”

“OK. Good night.” Tony started to shut the door, but Gibbs stuck a foot in the doorway, preventing him from closing the door on him.

“We need to talk,” Gibbs told him grimly.

“I beg to differ,” Tony said stiffly.

“DiNozzo.”

“Talk to me about work at work,” Tony told him, trying to kick his foot out of the way. “Don’t come chasing me down to yell at me in my own home.”

“It’s not about work. And I’m not here to yell at you.”

“Then we have nothing to talk about!”

“DiNozzo…”

“Leave me alone!” Tony finally yelled.

“We need to talk!”

“Talk! You? Talk? About what?” Tony was kicking Gibbs’ foot hard now. “Just, go away!”

“ _About what?_ How about what we’ve been doing in my basement, for one thing!” Gibbs growled.

“I think it was evident what we were doing in your basement!” Tony retorted. “And now we’re done doing it. So, you know, thanks for the memories. Now get lost.”

A neighbor’s door opened and a woman in her eighties looked out, holding her phone to her ear. “Tony? Are you OK?” she called out. “Mister, if I press ‘Call’ the cops will be here before you can say anything else!”

“Don’t call the cops, Ms Joy!” Tony yelled back. “It’s fine. Go on back in. I’ll take care of this.”

“I know you’re supposed to be a big bad _Federal Agent_ , Tony,” Ms Joy emphasized the words as if to scare Gibbs off that way. “The cops will come back you up in no time if I tell them a _Federal Agent_ needs help.”

Gibbs couldn’t help but give her an approving grin. Tony caught sight of the look and sighed.

“Don’t call the cops, Ms Joy,” he called out. “This is just my boss and I’m trying to tell him we can talk about whatever it is he wants to talk about at work instead of at home.”

“Then you’d better leave, young man!” the elderly woman scolded Gibbs. And it made Gibbs want to grin at being called a young man, but he didn’t want to push his luck. He didn’t want to waste time talking to the cops. He’d rather talk to Tony instead.

“I just need to speak with Agent DiNozzo here for a few minutes. He’s had a rough couple of weeks and he won’t let any of us talk to him about it,” Gibbs told her.

Ms Joy gave him a suspicious look. “He has been down lately,” she conceded. “He won’t talk about it to me either. He’s not hurt again, is he? You let him get shot or stabbed or punched way too much, you know that?”

“I’m not injured, Ms Joy! I told you that already!” Tony yelled through the narrowly open doorway. “I’m totally fine!”

“You know that ‘fine’ means he’s the complete opposite, right?” Gibbs asked Ms Joy knowingly as he gestured to Tony’s door.

Ms Joy rolled her eyes and nodded.

“All I want to do is make sure he’s OK,” Gibbs told her as sincerely as he could.

Gibbs heard Tony blow out a breath in an explosive sigh. “For fuck’s sakes,” he muttered. “Get your foot out of the door so I can undo the fucking chain or I swear I’ll break your foot.”

Gibbs gave him a saccharine smile, ignoring the fact that Tony was glaring at him. He moved his foot out of the doorway and Tony slammed the door shut angrily, undid the chain noisily and wrenched the door wide open.

“Don’t worry Ms Joy, I’ll leave quietly after DiNozzo talks to me,” Gibbs told the woman.

Tony stuck his head out and gave the old woman a guilty grin. “It’s fine. Go on back in and go to bed. It’s past your bedtime, Ms Joy.”

Gibbs didn’t miss the fact that Ms Joy gave Tony the thumbs up and suppressed another grin at the thought that Ms Joy thought that he was Tony’s boyfriend or something. He also didn’t miss that Tony rolled his eyes and made shooing motions with his hands, waiting until the elderly woman was safely behind her own front door before he came back in and slammed his door shut. He stood, arms folded, watching Gibbs. They stared at each other in silence for a few long moments. Gibbs felt stupidly tongue tied and struggled to find the words he’d said in his head so many times.

“Well?” Tony finally demanded. “You’re the one that came here wanting to talk. So? Talk.”

Gibbs sighed and scrubbed his face. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, and Tony sighed.

“Look,” the younger man gentled his tone. “I know you have trouble speaking. So let me just say it for you. I know that there’s nothing between us. You never made me any promises. And that’s it. All done.” He opened the door and waited expectantly for Gibbs to leave.

“That’s not it,” Gibbs managed to say, shaking his head.

Tony sighed again and closed his door, not wanting Ms Joy to come out and ask what was going on again if they started arguing. “No? So why are you here, then?”

“I just want you to know that I am truly sorry we made you sing in public,” Gibbs finally choked out the words.

Tony’s face darkened, flushing with emotion. “It’s _fine_ ,” he gritted out.

“We needed you. You were the only one who could pull that off.”

“Uh-huh,” Tony agreed.

“Abby told me why it was such a problem for you.”

Gibbs wanted to pull Tony into his arms when he saw the tears in Tony’s eyes.

“Abby needs to learn to shut her _fucking_ mouth about me,” Tony said savagely.

“I am really sorry that we made you do something you really didn’t want to do,” Gibbs said again. “I really am.”

“I _know!_ ” Tony said impatiently. “It’s _fine!_ The case came first. We needed to stop the killings. I get it. I’m over it. Are you done now?”

“You’re not, though.”

“Not what?”

“Not over it.”

Tony snorted with derision. “What the fuck does it matter anyway? I’ll get over it eventually. I always do!”

“What do you mean?”

Tony sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. Gibbs did not miss the fact that he subtly knuckled the tears out of his eyes. “Look, I know I’m expendable and I don’t matter. That’s been hammered into me my entire existence. ‘Your mother needs you’. ‘You need to suck it up, Junior. ‘Your needs aren’t everything, Junior. ‘Sacrifices must be made, Anthony’. ‘The case comes first, DiNozzo’. Ziva comes first. McGee comes first. You come first. The op comes first. The fucking Director comes first. _Everyone comes first!_ I fucking _know_ that, alright? I don’t need a reminder of my stupid godforsaken place in this fucking world!”

“That’s not what you think?” Gibbs stared at him, baffled.

Tony rolled his eyes and slammed his fist into the door. “Of _course_ I fucking think that! What the hell else could I possibly think? So yes, the fact that the last time I really sang for anyone she fucking up and died on me, even though I begged her not to die! That doesn’t matter at all! Not one single whit! I begged her not to leave me alone with him. I _begged_ her to stay with me. But she died. No matter how much I sang her favorite song, or how well I behaved! She. Still. Died. But none of that shit matters because that’s how it always is. Anthony will just have to suck it up. It’s what I do. It doesn’t matter that every time I sing, I think of my mother dying before my eyes, it doesn’t fucking matter one fucking bit. It doesn’t matter that I got up on that fucking stage and let everyone see how much it hurt me to do it, because I don’t fucking matter. Whatever it is I might want or need, I know it doesn’t matter at all. Because something else is always more important. Anthony’ll do it for the good of ‘insert whatever you like here’. I get it. I’m cool with it. So are we done now?” he opened the door again, and Gibbs saw that he was now favoring the hand that he’d slammed into the door.

“You were in the room when your mother died?” Gibbs gasped, wondering who would be so cruel as to leave a child in the room at such a terrible moment.

“I was the only one who cared to be there with her at the end,” Tony said grimly. “You think _he’d_ be there? He was too goddamned busy with his next con to waste time sitting with his dying wife.” He, of course, being Tony’s father.

“Tony…”

Tony sighed, holding the door open, tears welling in his eyes, and starting to overflow down his cheek. “I get it, OK? I’ll be fine next week. Sometimes even I need some time to bounce back from life. So get out and let me bounce back in peace. Just go away and leave me alone and I’ll be OK again. I always am.”

“I’m so, so, sorry.”

“That’s against the rules. No apologies,” Tony insisted, tears streaming down his face unchecked now.

Gibbs walked towards him and pulled him into a tight hug and Tony struggled against him, punching and kicking at him. He would be bruised up for sure, Tony wasn’t pulling his punches.

“Shhhhhh,” he held on tightly, burying his face in the crook of his neck, dropping soft kisses on that inviting flesh.

Finally, after struggling without any success, Tony went limp in his arms. Gibbs kicked the door shut, holding him close and dragging him to the couch. He sat down and pulled Tony into his lap, holding him close, running his fingers through Tony’s soft hair, whispering soft, soothing words as Tony buried his face in Gibbs’ chest and began sobbing. He cried the tears of the little boy who’d lost his mother and hadn’t been allowed to mourn her because DiNozzos didn’t cry. DiNozzos weren’t allowed to cry. DiNozzos sucked it up and pretended like they felt nothing. He wept until he sat limply in Gibbs’ lap, snuggled into Gibbs’ chest, Gibbs’ voice rumbling softly, soft words of apology and comfort.

When he was hiccupping softly into Gibbs’ wet shirt, the older man dropped soft kisses in his hair and rubbed his back. “Better?” he asked softly.

Tony nodded wordlessly, realizing that he was clutching fistfuls of Gibbs’ shirt in his fingers. He unclenched his fingers and released the shirt, although Gibbs continued to kiss him and pet him tenderly.

“I’m sorry we put you through that,” Gibbs murmured softly. “I really am. We had no choice.”

“I know,” Tony managed to say, through a half strangled sob.

“I mean it,” Gibbs told him. “I’m not just saying it. OK?”

Tony nodded.

“Do you believe me?”

Tony looked up, and Gibbs saw the teary green eyes, swollen from weeping, and he hoped that Tony could see how badly he felt and how sincerely sorry he was that Tony had been asked to do this.

Tony nodded slowly.

“You _are_ important,” Gibbs told him, cupping his face with one calloused palm. “You hear me? You’re very important. To a lot of people. To Abby, for one. She’s miserable and so upset that she accidentally told everyone about your secret ability to sing. She hasn’t been herself since the op. And you’re _very_ important to me.”

Tony shrugged, trying to look away, but Gibbs held him firmly, and waited for those green eyes to meet his again.

“Do you hear me?” Gibbs asked again.

Again, Tony shrugged.

“You’re the most important thing in the world to me,” Gibbs suddenly found the words that he’d been meaning to say for months now. “What we were doing in the basement wasn’t just stress relief or scratching an itch, or just a way for us to find comfort in each other. At least, not on my part. I want you. And not just in my basement. I want you in every way. I want to be there for you, want to care for you, take you to my bed and sleep with you. Not just the sex part. I mean that every night, sex or no sex, I want to hold you while you sleep.”

Tony’s green eyes clouded with confusion. “Huh?” he asked stupidly.

“If you’ll let me, I want to show you how important you are to me,” Gibbs told him, blue eyes blazing with sincerity. “I want to show you how much I love you. How much I want you in my life, in every single way you can think. I hope you’ll give me the chance to show you that I would put you ahead of everything else. That you would always come first for me.”

“What?”

“Been wanting to tell you that forever. That I love you. That I can’t live without you.”

Tony’s green eyes were now wide eyed with shock and maybe a little fear and he started to try to scramble out of Gibbs’ arms and off his lap but the older man held him firmly.

“It’s OK that you don’t feel the same way,” Gibbs continued. “It’s OK that you were just relieving stress or whatever it was for you. And it’s OK that it’s over now. I get that. But I need you to know. Need you to know how I feel about you.”

Tony gave him a worried look now and even though he wasn’t through his own fit of being upset and he was still sniffling pathetically, he raised a hand and felt Gibbs’ forehead.

“Should I call Ducky?” he asked, sounding worried and confused.

Gibbs sighed. “I’m not sick. Haven’t hit my head. Nothing like that.”

“I don’t understand,” Tony gave him such a confused look that Gibbs couldn’t help but kiss his furrowed brow.

“What don’t you understand?” Gibbs asked gently.

“What’s gotten into you?” Tony was starting to sound a little hysterical.

Gibbs smiled at him, his poor, confused, Tony. “Nothing’s gotten into me. Just tryin’ to tell you that I love you.”

“When did this happen?” Tony asked, looking suspiciously at his front door. “Is McGee going to jump in with a camera? Am I being punked?”

Gibbs gave him an annoyed glance. “No, DiNozzo. I’m just layin’ my heart bare for you to stomp on. Happy now?”

Tony was straddling Gibbs on the couch now and he leaned back on his heels and gave Gibbs a thoughtful look. “You are, aren’t you?” he said, considering Gibbs’ words. “You really are. But _why?_ ”

“Because you’re you,” Gibbs said simply. “Always loved you. Got worried that you were losing yourself after La Grenouille.” Tony’s expression darkened at the mention of that op. “You stopped talking. You know how much I depend on your yabba yabba?”

Tony shrugged.

“A lot. I was worried about you when you went quiet.”

“So you started sexing me up to make me feel better?” Tony frowned.

“Not sure what happened there. I usually have better control of myself,” Gibbs said sheepishly. “But then you seemed to be better after that. Not so much drinking to get drunk. Thought maybe I was helping. And I… liked it. I didn’t want to stop.”

Tony gave him a tremulous smile. “You were,” he said softly. “You were helping. I was thinking too much. You got me out of my head.”

Gibbs nodded. “Couldn’t find the words to say anything to you,” Gibbs shrugged apologetically.

“You’re not really known for your verbal skills though,” Tony said agreeably.

Gibbs grinned at him. “Think I’m done talking now,” he said. “Just want you to know that I love you. And I want you in my life, at work, at home, in my bed, in the basement, right here. I want you with me. And it’s OK that you’re not in the same place that I am.”

Tony stared at him in silence for the longest time before he nodded. “OK,” he said simply.

Gibbs hugged him and kissed his cheek, thinking this might be the last time he had Tony in his arms. Tony snuggled into him, breathing softly, staying silent for a long time. Gibbs was just thinking about how right it felt to have this man in his arms, and began to mourn never having him again when Tony raised his head and gave him a serious look.

“I’m good with that,” Tony said slowly.

“Good with what?” Gibbs asked.

Tony shrugged. “You know. Being in your life. And your bed. And stuff.”

Gibbs gave him a brilliant smile.

“I just needed a moment. To think things through a little.”

Gibbs nodded. “Take all the time you need,” he muttered.

Tony leaned down and kissed him then, a soft, trembly, hesitant kiss. “I still don’t understand it,” he murmured into Gibbs’ lips.

“What don’t you understand?” Gibbs asked.

“Why would you have feelings for me?” Tony’s eyes were filled with wonder, and Gibbs marveled at how expressive they were when Tony didn’t close himself off from the world like he usually did.

“Because you’re you,” Gibbs said simply. “You’re everything to me.”

Tony blushed then. He bit his lip and cocked his head, giving Gibbs another thoughtful look. “Is this how you end up with so many ex-wives?” he asked suddenly.

“What?”

“I mean, all these sweet nothings. Is this how you got three more women to marry you?” Tony was only half kidding. “Or is this a pattern of behavior – you fuck someone semi-regularly and then you propose? Don’t tell me – you’re the guy who always actually buys the cow?”

Gibbs laughed. “All three of the ex-wives proposed to me,” he admitted. “I married them because it was either marry ‘em or break up with ‘em and they didn’t seem to want to break up.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Even I know better than that.”

“I might not be able to legally marry you yet,” Gibbs said, “but you’re the second person I’ve actually wanted to propose to.”

Tony stared at him, shocked into silence. Gibbs leaned up and kissed him softly. “You hear me? If it was legal, I’d be down on one knee, proposing to you. That’s how much I love you.”

Tony shook his head again. “I still don’t get it. I’m just me.”

“You are you. ‘S all I want. I’ll prove it to you for the rest of my life,” Gibbs words were a promise. “For as long as you want me, or let me, I’ll take care of you and love you.”

Tony’s eyes welled again and he closed his eyes, kissing Gibbs’ lips with a tenderness that he’d never given to the older man in the weeks of sex that they’d enjoyed. “OK,” he said, nodding.

Gibbs smiled into the kiss.

“I… love you too,” Tony whispered softly. “Always have.”

Gibbs smiled again and Tony smiled back, a tentative, hesitant, but joyful smile. “Good. That’s good, DiNozzo.”

Tony’s huge yawn surprised them both.

“You’re exhausted,” Gibbs caressed Tony’s cheek, rubbing a thumb on Tony’s lower lip, noting the bags under Tony’s eyes. “Have you been sleeping?”

Tony shrugged. “Not so much,” he admitted.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Gibbs asked.

Tony gave him another long look before he nodded. “My bed’s small,” he warned Gibbs.

“It’ll be intimate,” Gibbs grinned.

They got off the couch and readied themselves for bed, and Tony waved his concern away when he tried to see to Tony’s hand, the one he’d slammed into his door. But Gibbs could see that Tony was truly at the end of his rope and needed to sleep so he let it go. He got in the tiny little twin bed first, lying on his back and then Tony slipped in. He pulled the younger man onto him, and Tony finally settled with his head on Gibbs’ chest, and one leg tangled in between Gibbs’. Gibbs rubbed his hand slowly up and down Tony’s back.

“You going to forgive Abby eventually?” Gibbs asked.

Tony sighed. “Yeah,” he finally murmured. “Eventually.”

Gibbs nodded. “You’re a real good singer, you know that?” he said softly.

Tony shrugged.

“Thought you should know that.”

Gibbs felt Tony’s head nodding. “I used to sing to Kelly,” he said softly, in the dark. “I sang her lullabies when she was a baby and had colic and wouldn’t settle down. Shan was exhausted, so I would take Kelly into the nursery and rock her in my arms, and I’d sing to her.”

“What did you sing?” Tony asked, sounding curious. “A bunch of songs or the same song over and over?”

“ _You Are My Sunshine_ ,” Gibbs voice broke at the words. “She seemed to like that song the best. I can’t even listen to it now.”

“I thought it was just because you weren’t full of sunshine,” Tony said sadly, throwing an arm around Gibbs’ chest and holding him tightly.

“I’m not,” Gibbs replied. He sighed, remembering those long ago days, remembering what Kelly smelled like, that indescribable smell that babies had, in those days when she cried and cried, and he would hold her and rock her and sing to her. The sunshine went out of his life when his girls were killed. But now he had someone else in his life that mattered to him, that brought a measure of the sunshine back. And he was going to hold on to him and try his best not to fuck this new relationship up.

They relaxed in each other’s arms. “My mother was a big fan of the Beatles,” Tony’s words were whispered. “Her favorite song was _Blackbird_. She said it made her think of me. I sang it to her, in the hospital. I sang it to her constantly. I was singing it to her when she died.”

Gibbs felt hot tears spilling onto his chest and he buried his fingers in Tony’s soft hair and kissed his head. “I _am_ sorry about the op.”

Tony shrugged and sniffled. “I know.”

Then they laid together in silence, and after a while, Gibbs realized that Tony had quietly fallen asleep, still clinging tightly to him. In the morning he would wake up early and plan to make love to him in the bed, kiss him breathless, and kiss and taste him all over. He wasn’t good with words, but he could show Tony how he felt about him, show him how important he was to him with his actions. Maybe say out loud all the words he’d been mouthing silently into Tony’s flesh. He sighed, kissed Tony’s hair and relaxed himself into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter tomorrow! :D


	4. An Object to Crave

Unfortunately the phone ringing in the middle of the night, Dispatch calling with a new case, interrupted their sleep and Gibbs’ plans. Tony fell out of the small bed trying to get the phone, and when he realized it was Gibbs’ he threw it to the older man, picked himself up off the floor and immediately started to get dressed. In their line of work, phones ringing in the middle of the night usually meant a case.

Gibbs kissed Tony senseless before they left for the crime scene, his eyes promising much more when they had the time, and Tony smiled at him, a slightly fearful but hopeful smile. They were NCIS agents and this was their life so they had to pack away their feelings and get to the business of solving the next crime. But at work, Gibbs was noticeably gentler in his handling of Tony until mid-morning when Tony cornered him in the elevator and stopped it, just the two of them in the metal box.

“You can’t treat me differently at work,” Tony’s green eyes were serious and intense.

Gibbs shrugged.

“I’m serious,” Tony insisted. “Work is work.”

“You’re not my dirty little secret,” Gibbs glared at him.

Tony grinned at that and shrugged. “Well, maybe a _little_ bit dirty,” he winked. “But you’ve got to treat me the same or we’ll be in trouble. I don’t want to be transferred off the team or something if Shepard thinks you’re favoring me. She still has a thing for you, you know.”

Gibbs pursed his lips.

“You know I’m right,” Tony said gently. “If you want this to go somewhere, whatever this is that I assume you still want that’s between us…”

“Of course I still want it, DiNozzo,” Gibbs growled.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Tony’s grin grew wider. “We need grumpy Gibbs at work. Save the other stuff for after.”

“I don’t want you to think that I don’t value you or think you’re not important,” Gibbs muttered.

Tony sighed and tentatively took Gibbs’ hand. “I’m going to do my best to believe your words,” he breathed. “Even when you’re hard on me at work.”

Gibbs pulled him close and cupped his cheek. “I don’t want you to think that this job is more to me important than you are.”

“But it is,” Tony shrugged. “In so many ways, it is. We’re doing a lot of good here, you know? It was just one bad op. I’ll be OK.”

“I can’t take it if you get quiet again.”

Tony leaned into the calloused palm on his cheek. “I’ll tell you if things get too much for me,” he finally gave in, and turned his head, kissing Gibbs’ palm gently.

“I’d rather have you than this job,” Gibbs told him.

Tony’s eyes widened in surprise and he stared at Gibbs. “OK,” he conceded. “But I love this job and stayed so long because you’re here. Working with me.”

Gibbs smiled at him, pleased at the admission that Tony had stayed all these years for him.

“I don’t want to have to choose,” Tony frowned. “Don’t give Jenny ammunition against us.”

Gibbs sighed and nodded. He knew full well what the Director might try if she knew they were together. Right under her nose. “I just don’t want you to get more of those wrong ideas about your importance to me.”

Tony nodded. “I promise. I’ll tell you if something is too much. Or if the lines get too blurry. Or… I start to have doubts. But otherwise, we have to be just our normal usual selves at work.”

“Yabba yabba included?” Gibbs asked hopefully.

Tony chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Yabba yabba included.”

Gibbs nodded and his heart lifted when Tony moved into the circle of his arms and gave him a hard kiss on the lips. It was the first time that Tony had initiated affection with him and he realized that it was probably a big deal for him.

“Love you,” Gibbs blurted out.

“I know…” Tony grinned as he backed away and switched the elevator back on. He snickered to himself and gave Gibbs the brightest smile he’d seen in days when Gibbs frowned at him. “And one day you’ll understand that reference.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes. “A movie?”

Tony shrugged. “What else?”

Gibbs snorted his answer. He would deny it, but secretly, he looked forward to spending time with Tony and watching the movies Tony wanted him to watch. Getting some of the references that Tony made. Being a part of the in jokes. But for the time being, they behaved the way they usually did for the rest of the case. And although Tony periodically found cups of hot chocolate waiting for him on his desk, and other little gifts, he gave Gibbs an exasperated yet coy grin as he quietly accepted the offerings.

Tony did eventually forgive Abby for accidentally spilling the beans on his ability to sing. Especially since someone left a CD of ‘Jagged Little Pill’ on Tony’s desk as a prank, upsetting Tony greatly. He had let people think that he was upset about the whole drag queen thing, because he didn’t want the truth about his issues with singing to become public knowledge. But apparently, Abby worked through the security feeds, found out who had done it, and a few days later, everyone at NCIS anonymously received pictures of the culprit wearing lacy panties and high heels and nothing else, being flogged by a dom in a black mask. And these pictures were undoctored. Tony knew then that Abby had looked through everything for the man to find something incriminating, and she’d done it because he had been upset by the reminder of the op where he’d had to sing. He accepted that as a grand gesture of apology, along with her many fervent apologies, and things gradually became better between them.

It was months after the op ended and Gibbs and Tony had begun their relationship in earnest that Gibbs finally had the courage to tell Tony about the one pervasive fantasy he’d had about the man. They’d gone through a lot of ups and downs – Tony was still prickly and insecure and quick to hide himself, his tried and true method of protecting himself, and Gibbs was, well, Gibbs. And he got impatient and angry and upset. But they were both trying their best, and Gibbs knew that he had to be the one to continue to show Tony how he felt. He didn’t want to find himself in the middle of another break up because of his inability to communicate, because this time, it wouldn’t be a relief. He wanted to be with Tony. He wanted whatever crazy messed up thing it was that they were trying to build together, because they _were_ doing it. They were building their way through each other’s baggage and fears and secrets in order to come together. They fought with each other, and made up, and fucked hard and slept holding each other, and worked together. They were slowly building a life together and Gibbs couldn’t imagine going back to living the way he had before, now that he finally had Tony the way he wanted him in his life. And every concession, every little act that Tony gave him that hinted at his confidence and dependence, and trust in Gibbs, it made Gibbs’ heart swell. Hell, the first time that Tony hesitantly asked him if he could take a look at his kitchen sink, because it wasn’t behaving normally, Gibbs surprised him by enveloping him in a bear hug and kissing him to within an inch of his life before he went to get his tool box and went to work fixing the sink. And it would be years before Gibbs would confess to Tony that he’d actually messed with Tony’s faucet to see whether Tony would just call a plumber or ask him to work on it, since he knew that Tony wasn’t exactly Mr DIY Home Improvement. And so he didn’t really want to rock the boat by asking too much of the man, but Tony was the one who started it one night by telling Gibbs that he’d always wanted Gibbs to fuck him on a boat. Maybe even an aircraft carrier one of these days.

They were lying in bed together after a satisfying bout of sex, sated and relaxed in each other’s arms, talking about random mundane stuff when the subject came up. Gibbs stared at Tony in disbelief. “You want me to what?” he asked.

Tony laughed self consciously. “It’s just one of those stupid fantasies,” he snorted. “I know. You wouldn’t have any of them, I’m sure.”

Gibbs gave him a long look. “You want me to fuck you on a boat. Or a ship. Or better yet, an aircraft carrier?” he asked again.

Tony blushed and nodded.

Gibbs blew out a breath. “I suppose that can be arranged,” he said carefully.

“Yeah?” Tony’s eyes brightened.

“But why boats?” Gibbs wanted to know.

Tony sighed. “You build them,” he finally said. “I’ve watched your hands lovingly tend to them, building them, for years. It’s just a thing for me now. Do you sail them too?”

Gibbs made a face. “I _can_ sail them. But it’s more fun to build them.”

Tony laughed. “I don’t know. Maybe I can make sailing them fun for you,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Gibbs snorted. “You can make anything ‘fun’, you nymphomaniac,” he grinned.

“I prefer the term ‘sexaholic’,” Tony told him haughtily. “Which would make you my enabler.”

Gibbs laughed at that. “OK, so I get the sailboat thing. But what about ships and aircraft carriers?”

“I don’t know. It’s a _fantasy!_ It’s not supposed to make sense!” Tony objected, pushing himself up on one elbow. “But imagine it, you pushing me against the bulkhead of a carrier, your dick inside me, and people are walking just outside the door and could walk in on us at any time. And maybe we’re supposed to be solving a case. And not standing around having sex. Fuck,” he sighed rubbing a hand on his dick, even though Gibbs had just wrung an intense orgasm out of him.

Gibbs laughed at that. “Sure. Uh-huh. Sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“Fuck you. I know you have no illogical fantasies about me,” Tony threw himself back down away from Gibbs, trying to shrug Gibbs’ arms away when the man tried to pull him back into his embrace.

“How do you know that I don’t have fantasies about you?”

“Because you’re you! Your… _Gibbsness_ wouldn’t allow that sort of thing,” Tony rolled his eyes, grudgingly allowing Gibbs to pull him close again. “It’s all orderly in that head of yours. Get up. Fuck Tony. Make coffee. Shower – maybe fuck Tony again in the shower. Work. Home. Dinner. Fuck Tony. Bed.”

“Are you saying I’m predictable?” Gibbs raised his eyebrows. “Or boring?”

“OK maybe not predictable per se. And definitely _not_ boring. Just, a marine thing, probably. You like things a certain way every day. But there are variations, true. Sometimes Tony gets to fuck Gibbs. And sometimes we fuck before dinner instead of after dinner.”

Gibbs punched him. “I hate when you talk about yourself in the third person,” he grumbled.

“That’s not a denial,” Tony said smugly, pulling Gibbs’ arm snugly around him, settling in. “And I’m not complaining. It’s who you are. I’ve accepted it. I may even love it.”

Gibbs kissed him then, a soft, tender kiss, and ran his fingers through Tony’s hair. “Love you,” he murmured into Tony’s mouth.

“Love you, too,” Tony smiled into the kiss.

They relaxed and Tony was half asleep before Gibbs cleared his throat. “I do have a fantasy of you,” he said, his tone hesitant.

“Huh?” Tony yawned, snuggling into Gibbs’ body. “You have a what?”

“Fantasy. Of you.”

Tony’s eyes flew open and he pushed himself up on his elbows again. “No!” he stared into Gibbs’ blue eyes, blazing in the dark of the bedroom.

Gibbs shrugged.

“Really?” he was shocked.

“Yup.”

“Did you just make it up because I told you about my boat thing?” Tony was suspicious.

“Nope.”

Tony’s grin was huge, his teeth gleaming in the near darkness. “Is it really kinky? You know you have to tell me now. I told you mine, even though you made fun of me for it.”

“Told you I could make it happen,” Gibbs mumbled.

“Huh, because you want me to make yours happen?”

Gibbs shrugged.

“What is this fantasy of yours then?” Tony asked. And even in the darkness, he could see Gibbs’ face color. “Leroy Jethro Gibbs, are you fucking _blushing?_ ” he crowed. “Oh my god. You are!” And then the man out and out giggled, which made Gibbs gently smack the back of his head.

“Shit, your fantasy involves spanking doesn’t it?” Tony giggled even more. “All the head slaps for all these years. I should have known it would involve me over your lap getting my ass spanked from here till Sunday.”

“No spanking,” Gibbs told him. “Although you _are_ putting ideas in my head about it.”

Which made Tony giggle even more, collapsing back into Gibbs’ arms and burying his face in Gibbs’ neck as he laughed. And Gibbs couldn’t find it in himself to be upset with the man when he was being so stinkin’ adorable. Even though he would never admit it to Tony, of course.

“What’s this non-spanking fantasy of yours then,” Tony asked after he finally controlled his laughter.

Gibbs cleared his throat again. “Leather,” he mumbled. “I like you wearing leather.”

“Leather? Really?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “And then what?”

“Then I peel the leather off you and kiss every inch of skin I can,” Gibbs said quickly.

“Wait, wait. You want to undress me and kiss me. _This_ is your fantasy?” Tony rolled his eyes. “I don’t think you’re quite getting the whole fantasy aspect of the thing. It’s supposed to be kinky.”

“Tight leather. Like those boots you wore for the op,” Gibbs muttered.

“The thigh high stilettos?”

Gibbs nodded.

Tony’s eyebrows went up, his curiosity piqued now. “Does it have to be a dress? The leather that I wear?”

Gibbs shook his head. “Just has to be skin tight,” Gibbs mumbled.

“So you want me to wear skin tight leather…”

“Black leather,” Gibbs interrupted, specifying it.

“Skin tight black leather, and you want to undress me and kiss me all over?” Tony asked again.

“Uh-huh.”

Tony was silent for a moment. “Wasn’t I wearing black leather when we first met?” he asked.

Gibbs blushed again.

Tony smiled at Gibbs and leaned down to kiss him, a thoroughly breath-stealing kiss that left them both panting. “Fucking romantic,” he shook his head. “Black leather, huh? Seems easy enough. I can do that.”

“But I’d want to kiss you all over,” Gibbs insisted.

“I heard you the first time.”

“I mean, _all over_ ,” Gibbs repeated.

Tony frowned at him. “I don’t think I’m getting the importance of the ‘all over’ part here, Gibbs.”

“I want to give you a fucking rim job, OK?” Gibbs growled. “I want to see you in tight black leather clothes, undress you, kiss every inch of skin and fucking stick my tongue down your asshole and make you come that way.”

“Oh!” Tony stared at Gibbs in silence for a moment. “Yeah?” he asked again.

“Yeah!”

“Oh,” Tony bit his lip as he stared at Gibbs. “I didn’t think you’d be into that sort of thing.”

“You’re so fucking pretty, DiNozzo, I just want to kiss you everywhere. Happy now?” Gibbs said grumpily.

“Yeah,” Tony said softly, sucking gently on Gibbs’ neck. “Really happy, Gibbs.”

Gibbs smiled and they kissed again before settling in for the night.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Gibbs strode through his front door, slamming it shut behind him with relief. Finally. After a week away at some stupid conference or other that Shepard sent him to – by himself – he was finally home again. And he’d missed Tony. A lot. They’d decided to continue to keep their relationship quiet for the time being given that they both thought that Jenny would be opposed to it and would do what she could to sabotage it or keep them apart, or worse try to come on to one or both of them in order to come between them. It was just far more peaceful to keep things quiet until they felt sure that they wouldn’t be forced to separate. But Gibbs had been spending every night he could with Tony, either at his house or at Tony’s apartment. Tony had even replaced his twin with a new king-sized bed so they could be more comfortable there. And this week completely apart from Tony had been hard. He couldn’t wait to be with his man again.

“DiNozzo!” he yelled. “You here?”

“You should maybe lock that door,” Tony’s voice floated down the stairs.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Gibbs grumbled, because even though Tony spent most nights in his bed now, he still hated locking his front door. He didn’t like changing his ways and locking the front door was definitely change, and one he didn’t embrace with open arms.

And then he heard the sound of heels, echoing on his wooden stairs, clip-clopping down towards him. He saw the boots first – black leather stilettos, laced up the front so Tony’s tanned skin gleamed through the spaces between the laces. They were open toed, with a few of Tony’s toes peeking out and he realized that Tony had actually painted his toenails black to match the boots.

He drew in a sharp breath when more of Tony became visible. Tony was wearing a black leather jacket which made him think of motorcycles. It was zipped up the front, and it fitted him snugly, emphasizing his broad shoulders, tapering down to his hips. It came a little way down his hips, and he could see more black leather peeking underneath the jacket at him, below the bottom of the jacket and above the open collar. On his hands were black leather biker gloves, sleek and smooth.

“I suggest we lock the door tonight to ensure we’re not interrupted,” Tony said again as he posed on the stairs, giving Gibbs a come hither look. His hair had been artfully mussed and Gibbs didn’t know what Tony had done to his face, or even if he’d done anything at all, but it seemed as if his eyes looked larger, and his lips poutier.

Gibbs scrabbled to lock the door behind him without taking his eyes off Tony – clad in all that black leather with tantalizing bits of skin showing through the laced up boots, between the top of the boots halfway up his thighs and the termination of the jacket and whatever the hell it was he was wearing under it – and his cock immediately hardened in his pants and he could feel himself salivating at the thought of tasting all of that golden skin after peeling him out of all that tight, tight leather.

He followed Tony’s swaying figure up the stairs, each loud clop of the boot heel hitting the stair heightening his arousal. By the time he made it up the stairs, he was so hard he was rubbing the heel of his hand against his dick, trying to pace himself. Tony turned his head and gave him a smoldering look as he swayed into the bedroom, pivoting to face him.

“Fuck,” Gibbs breathed out, taking in the sight of his lover, standing one hip cocked towards him, head tilted, eyes watching him intently. Gibbs knew that Tony did not miss the fact that he was rubbing himself through his pants.

“I guess you really do like the black leather,” Tony said with a feral smile.

Gibbs nodded fervently.

Tony stepped over to him and placed his gloved hand on Gibbs’ crotch and he whined as he pulled Tony close and kissed him. He had to lean up to kiss him, Tony’s boot heels made him quite a bit taller than Gibbs, and that disparity only excited him even more. Tongues tangling, Gibbs fisted his hand in Tony’s hair, tip toeing up to savagely kiss that enticing mouth. When he finally pulled away, he looked down and realized that Tony had skillfully managed to take all his clothes off. His shirt had been tossed aside, and his pants pooled around his feet, leaving him only in his socks and boxers. And Tony himself was still fully dressed, if you could call it that, including the jacket.

Gibbs growled at him as he walked Tony backwards, guiding him carefully and gently holding his hips in case he tripped in those ridiculously sexy boots he was wearing, and pushed him onto the bed. Tony landed on his back and bounced a little, smiling up at Gibbs as he scrambled out of his boxers and tossed his socks behind him before he crawled up Tony’s body and began kissing him again, and this time he was completely naked. Gibbs savagely bit and sucked on Tony’s bottom lip, watching it swell and plump up as he settled himself in between Tony’s spread legs. He could feel Tony’s cock, hard against his under all that leather, and he couldn’t help but whine as he explored Tony’s mouth, having missed it when he had been in New York without him the past week. And feeling all that leather against his bare skin, and the smell of the leather, definitely a huge turn on. They finally broke apart to breathe, and Gibbs smiled down at Tony, knowing that his own eyes must be blown wide with lust, and that Tony could feel his cock, hard and leaking, against his leather-encased flesh.

Tony’s hands were running up and down his back and he brought one of them up to show Gibbs the leather. “I’m a little overdressed, don’t you think?” he asked coyly.

Gibbs laughed softly as he used his teeth to slowly pull the glove off that hand, and he raised his eyebrows at the glossy black nail polish Tony had used on his blunt fingernails, and Tony shrugged and grinned in response. Then he proceeded to lavish kisses on the newly exposed palm and the back of the hand, before he sucked first the index finger and then the middle and ring fingers into his mouth, causing Tony to grind up into him involuntarily. And then he went back and kissed Tony’s lips, a soft, gentle kiss, before he started sucking and nibbling down his jaw, and kissing his neck, soft, wet kisses as he tasted the skin in the dip between Tony’s collar bones. He was wearing some leather thing under the jacket, something with a round-necked top and Gibbs kissed the bits of his chest that was exposed, before he knelt in between Tony’s legs, his dick snug against Tony’s, and slowly he unzipped the jacket. Tony sighed as Gibbs pulled the jacket open and began breathing even faster. Tony was wearing a soft, black leather body suit that fit like a second skin and looked like a t-shirt and tight shorts, his dick a hard bulge in the material.

Gibbs helped him sit up for a moment so he could take the jacket completely off, and he gasped when he saw that the body suit was laced up the side on both sides, and he could see Tony’s skin, smooth, like a golden beacon of flesh in between the laces. He kissed Tony up one arm, and sucked on his neck again before he kissed down the other arm, and gently removed the second glove, giving the second hand the same treatment he’d given the first, and Tony moaned softly as Gibbs sucked on his fingers. Gibbs laid him back down, fingers caressing the exposed flesh up both Tony’s sides before his lips and tongue followed the trail up, even though Tony squirmed and giggled when Gibbs teased at his ticklish spots.

“Do I unlace this to remove this?” Gibbs asked him.

Tony shrugged. “You could, but there’s a zipper up the back which might be easier,” he grinned.

“Who wants easy,” Gibbs murmured as he slowly unlaced one side, mouthing kisses on Tony’s flesh as he exposed it. “I don’t even want to know where you got this outfit but I fucking love it.”

Tony laughed a little self consciously, but then moaned when Gibbs began kissing his hip and belly as he peeled the leather off Tony’s skin, and when the laces were undone, his cock sprang free from its leather confinements and he moaned, one hand going to it. Gibbs batted his hand away and gave him a stern look.

“Sorry,” Tony smiled apologetically, removing his hand from his own cock. “Carry on.”

Gibbs nodded and he undid the laces on the other side and kissed Tony’s chest, suckling first on one nipple and then biting the other, making Tony yelp, then soothing it with licks and soft suckling kisses, before he traced each of Tony’s ribs with his tongue, and Tony was moaning softly, the muscles of his belly jumping and his cock twitching responsively. All throughout the kissing, Gibbs murmured words of love and appreciation, speaking out loud all the words that he’d mouthed in silence into Tony’s skin, and wanted to say out loud when they first started what they did in the basement. Tony moaned and murmured soft words back, fingers tangled in Gibbs’ gray hair. Gibbs kissed Tony’s hips, dropped a soft kiss in the curls at the base of his cock and Tony thrust upwards with a groan, begging Gibbs to pay attention to his leaking cock, and Gibbs looked up at him and shook his head, giving him a wicked grin.

“Please,” Tony begged, needing the friction on his dick. Needing Gibbs’ touch on it.

Gibbs rolled his eyes before he leaned down and licked the pre-cum dribbling from Tony’s cock and the younger man raised his hips and gasped. Gibbs mouthed Tony’s balls, first sucking in one, and then moving to lick and suck on the other, and Tony cursed and moaned, and he cried out when Gibbs licked up the underside of his hard dick and swiped the pre-cum off his head with a swirl of the tongue, but pulled off without wrapping his lips around him.

“Come on!” he begged. “Please.”

“Patience,” Gibbs told him. “I got more skin to kiss first.”

He helped Tony turn onto his belly and slowly pulled down the zipper on the back, and then he was able to slip all the pieces of Tony’s bodysuit off of him with no trouble. Tony was now naked, except for the boots. He proceeded to kiss Tony’s back, sucking and nibbling on each knob of Tony’s spine, moving downwards to Tony’s ass. He pulled Tony’s hips up and the younger man obligingly went up on his knees, spreading them wide and exposing his pretty pink hole. Gibbs sighed as he looked at it, and began circling the rim with his fingers. Without being asked, Tony produced the lube and handed it to him. Gibbs smiled, lubed his fingers up and slid one in, growling as Tony whined and moaned and his hole sucked him in, wanting more. He kissed and licked around Tony’s hole, and hummed appreciatively when he realized that Tony had given him the flavored lube to use.

“Cherries?” he asked.

“They didn’t have coffee flavored lube,” Tony sassed.

Gibbs smacked his ass cheek, before he put his face back down, sucking and tasting Tony’s puckered hole before he licked into the hole and wiggled his tongue. He had to grab the base of his own cock when Tony made that helpless noise in his chest, the one that made Gibbs know that he was definitely enjoying this. Gibbs pushed a finger in and began stroking his prostate as he continued moving his tongue inside Tony’s walls. The sounds that Tony was making made him want to stick his cock into the hole and just come.

Tony was grabbing fistfuls of the sheets, spreading his knees wider and keening when Gibbs finally stretched him enough to reach his prostate with his tongue.

“You like that, huh?” Gibbs spoke as he stretched Tony open, hooking his thumbs on the edge of Tony’s hole and stuck his tongue in as far as it would go, gently pressing against Tony’s prostate. Tony’s entire body shuddered and he pushed back into Gibbs’ tongue, clenching uncontrollably, and the sounds he made, god, it was almost enough to make Gibbs come right away.

“Please, please, please touch my dick. Need more. Need to come, need to… _nnnnnnnhhhhh_ ,” Tony was begging now. “Please. Oh fuck yeah, there, there, yeah, _nnnnggghhhhhhhh_. That’s so good. Fuck, don’t stop, yeah…”

Gibbs’ own dick was leaking, drooling a steady stream of pre-cum and he knew that even though his fantasy was to rim Tony and bring him to orgasm that way, he’d been away for too long and he was too close to coming already. He lubed his cock and pulled his fingers and mouth away from Tony’s ass, making the younger man whimper in protest. But he lined himself up and fucked his cock into Tony’s hole in one strong thrust and the younger man wailed in pleasure. Gibbs wanted to wait, wanted to tease Tony more, but he couldn’t help himself. He started thrusting in and out, hard and fast, pounding on Tony’s prostate, closing his eyes and losing himself in the sensations, in feeling Tony’s passage snug and hot and tight and wet just squeezing him, and he mouthed rough kisses on the back of Tony’s neck and slipped a hand around Tony’s waist for better leverage, snapping his hips in harder.

Suddenly he pulled out and Tony screamed in frustration, looking back at him in desperation. “Wha?” Tony muttered.

Without wasting time, Gibbs turned him onto his back and fucked right back into him, pulling one of Tony’s still boot-clad legs over his shoulder, opening him up more and going back to the short hard thrusts, still hammering Tony’s prostate. The leather on Tony’s legs scraped his shoulder and his back, where Tony had wrapped his other leg, and Gibbs hoped that he would get burns from the material, because it was so fucking arousing, heightening his pleasure. He wrapped his fingers around Tony’s cock and began jacking him off and Tony closed his eyes, fucking himself into Gibbs’ dick and thrusting into Gibbs’ fist.

Gibbs leaned down and sealed their mouths together – he’d wanted to kiss Tony face to face as they made love when they’d first started fucking in his basement, and now that he could, he tried to do it as often as possible, and he wanted this so badly. Tony sucked on his tongue, arms around him, pulling him closer, harder, his fingernails digging into Gibbs’ back.

Gibbs added a slight corkscrewing motion to his thrusts and a twist to the movement of the hand jerking Tony off and the younger man screwed his eyes shut, threw his head back, mouth open wide in a silent scream as he came, shooting thick jets of come all over Gibbs’ hand and his own belly, and Gibbs continued to pound into his prostate and milking him before Tony’s nails scratched down his back, down to his ass as Tony grabbed hold of him and pulled him in hard. Gibbs couldn’t help it then, he pushed himself in as far as he could go, and with a hoarse cry found his release, spurting deep in Tony’s body, claiming Tony’s lips as he filled Tony’s ass with his come.

He came so hard it took him a few minutes to regroup afterwards. Finally he was able to push himself up, instead of being a dead weight on top of Tony. The younger man was still splayed out, head thrown back, eyes closed, throat exposed. Gibbs nuzzled his neck, kissing it as he slowly moved Tony’s leg off his shoulder and eased it onto the bed. The leg that was still encased in the thigh high leather boots.

He chuckled softly to himself, satisfied that Tony had enjoyed himself when Tony frowned, eyes opened, looking up at him with a slight moue of discontent.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“I didn’t even get to peel you out of the boots,” Gibbs shook his head. “Didn’t get to kiss you all over like I meant to.”

Tony smiled up at him. “You don’t hear me complaining, do you?”

Gibbs shook his head, claiming Tony’s lips with a soft sigh. “You derailed my plans. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to rim you until you came, or fuck you until you came. But then I needed to fuck you too. And I didn’t get around to the boots and your legs and your feet and your toes.”

Tony smiled into the kiss. “You know, I did buy the outfit,” he said thoughtfully. “I suppose I could be convinced to wear it again.”

Gibbs’ eyes brightened at the thought. “I could start with the boots first next time, to make sure I get to taste your legs and suck on your toes,” he agreed.

Tony sighed and smiled, before he yawned. “OK,” he agreed, blinking sleepily, too sated to conceal the yawns.

“Although it was hot fucking you with the boots on,” Gibbs pursed his lips. “Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.”

Tony laughed. “You’re such a freak,” he said fondly. “But I do love you.”

Gibbs looked down at him, grinning like a loon. “I know,” he told him, and Tony smacked his chest and laughed again, since Gibbs had just knowingly Han Solo-ed him.

And in the morning when Gibbs finally got to suck on Tony’s toes, which surprisingly turned out to be one of Tony’s erogenous zones, he’d already had a plan for how to make Tony’s fantasy of being fucked on an aircraft carrier happen. He knew people, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last chapter! I hope my Queene, and all of you enjoyed it!
> 
> I have apparently been trained now by Red_Pink_Dots to find some visuals for my stories, even if there is no formal artwork for it! ;) So for the fantasy scene that Tony enacted for Gibbs, here are some visuals of what Tony wore for you, in order of appearance:  
> * [The boots](http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/ycnt2o-i.jpg)  
> * [The leather jacket](https://cdn-images.farfetch-contents.com/12/54/54/90/12545490_11916996_255.jpg)  
> * [The bodysuit under the leather jacket](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1cJOMRFXXXXbFXpXXq6xXFXXX1/XX74-2017-Latex-Sexy-Zipper-Cortch-Bodysuit-PVC-Faux-Leather-Side-Seam-PU-Men-Short-Panties.jpg_640x640.jpg)
> 
> And of course, the songs for this story:  
> * [Kiss You All Over](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovqpvtJ_MfA) (Exile)  
> * [Uninvited](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9zMnrBCBa0) (Alanis Morissette)  
> * [You Oughta Know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY) (Alanis Morissette)  
> * [Perfect](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOuOEAFThnY) (Alanis Morissette)  
> * [Your House](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAR-Bcs0PH4) (Alanis Morissette)  
> * [Blackbird](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo_DMGc2v5o) (Beatles)  
> * [You Are My Sunshine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGa3zFRqDn4) (Johnny Cash).
> 
> There are other versions of You Are My Sunshine, but somehow I went to Johnny Cash for Gibbs' version of it. I also want to thank you all for sharing with me your personal stories regarding the songs that I chose for this story. Music touches us all and affects us in so many different ways. I'll reply to all the comments in the previous chapter once I get this final chapter posted, but I wanted to thank you all for such lovely, touching comments. <3
> 
> Again, huge thanks to Red_Pink_Dots, my lovely friend and partner in crime. Even when she isn't creating artwork to either spur me into writing, or in support of my writing, she's always there to listen to my writing woes, and talk me down off ledges. I actually wrote the middle part of this story first (the Alanis portions) and the aftermath of the op was heading away from Tibbs because Tony was so very angry, and RPD threw out a bunch of different ideas to make it go back to being Tibbs, and the suggestions that the muse liked and ran away with include, making it a 'newly' established Tibbs prior to the op (which the muse made into a weird sex in the basement only sort of relationship), putting it in S5 to take advantage of the post-Jeanne and post-Hollis Mann situation, and not to edit out the Alanis portion because I thought maybe I had to start over. Also, she and I enjoyed a long discussion on which rocker chick Tony should be (options included Joan Jett and Pat Benatar, and I thought how funny if Tony was Pat and sang 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' and then gets a bullet in the chest and decided OK not Pat Benatar). It was definitely fun to discuss ideas and go down funky roads, and I thank you, ma chere amie, for being there for me and with me <3
> 
> And of course, this story is for my QueeneoftheDeer! I hope my Queene enjoyed her birthday story! And hopefully I've fulfilled your prompt. I always love the music portions of your prompts and I always have fun seeing what can come out of music :D Happy birthday, my Queene! I also threw in your favorite phrase, because I could ;) xoxo
> 
> The title of the story, and chapter titles come from bits of the lyrics of Uninvited.
> 
> Happy New Year, y'alls! Thank you so much for all your support! I do appreciate it!
> 
> <3  
> -j  
> xoxo
> 
> PS - Happy Birthday to jesco0307! <3 <3 I'm working on your story next! ;)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for A Moment to Deliberate](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13625322) by [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots)




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